It is time we celebrate anti-Valentine’s Day.  Picture this:

The classroom burst with anticipation.  We waited until 1:30 when it would be time.  “Ok class, get our your boxes!” As students brimmed with enthusiasm, I saw them take out their works of art.  Wooden, well put together (obviously parent-made) they were amazing pieces of lace and felt.  I took a look at the sorry state of my Valentine’s day ‘mailbox’ made from an old Avon box.  Ramshackle pieces of pink and red construction paper taped to it.  I sighed and began another hopeless Elementary-school Valentine’s Day party.

Valentine’s Aversion

For some reason, I have always had an aversion to Valentine’s day.  In Elementary school, it was the socialist, utopian ideal where everyone got pieces of cardboard that were cherished for 5 minutes and then thrown away.  Don’t get me started on Sweethearts (interestingly, the company has recently gone out of business) Later, while waiting tables, it was the throng of couples trying to have romantic evenings with every other person in the known universe.  At some of the restaurants I worked at, they would bring extra tables on the floor to meet the demand.  Every year, you seem the same line of sad sacks at Walgreen’s buying cheap flowers on their way home from work for their wives or girlfriends.

It just doesn’t seem to be that romantic.  First, there isn’t any romance in doing something that everyone else is doing because of some feeling of obligation. Additionally, many of the gifts that we get (flowers, candy, etc) are very temporary and seem like an afterthought.  Finally, forget about going out for dinner or a movie.  Those seem to be the busiest times of the year for that!  Nothing says I love you like waiting in traffic and then waiting for a table (usually even with a reservation!)

Luckily for me, I eventually met Lindsey, who shares in my Valentine’s Day aversion.  That does not mean that we aren’t sentimental. We like to spend the night away for our anniversary and treat ourselves to other experiences.  Neither of us seems to care about a random day in February as the sign to proclaim our love to each other.

What is so special about Valentine’s Day?

Valentine Origins

As a History teacher, I find it amusing that Valentine’s Day has its origins in Lupercalia.  There is nothing better than to sacrifice a goat, cut strips off of it, and then run around naked whipping women in order to make them fertile, but in this day and age, that would probably get me doxxed.

Our modern-day view of Valentine’s day as a day of love, actually, has some history too.  It started with Geoffrey Chaucer’s The Parlement of Fowls where he mentions that Valentine’s day is the time for birds to choose a mate. In the Victorian Times, the chocolatier George Cadbury made heart-shaped chocolate boxes as early as the 1860s.

Unfortunately, these small sentimental tokens have turned into a commercial, billion dollar industry.

Modern-day Valentine’s Day

A quick look at the present state of this holiday will turn you into an anti-Valentine proponent.

In 2018, US consumers spent an average of $143.56 ($19.6 Billion total)! That is a ridiculous number.  Unsurprisingly, 55% say they will give candy as a present.  Rounding out the top three gifts are greeting cards (46%) and flowers (36%).  How cliché.

Interestingly, while 42% want to give a ‘gift of experience’, only 24% ultimately give one.

Here are some more interesting statistics from this study:

This year’s survey found consumers plan to spend an average $88.98 on their significant other/spouse ($12.1 billion), $25.29 on other family members such as children or parents ($3.5 billion), $7.26 on children’s classmates/teachers ($991 million), $7.19 on friends ($982 million), $5.50 on pets ($751 million) and $4.79 on co-workers ($654 million). Those 25-34 will be the biggest spenders at an average of $202.76.

Do people actually buy Valentine’s Day gifts for their pets?  For what purpose?

Here is another link that breaks down more Valentine’s Day demographics.

The need for a frank discussion

Up until now, you may wholeheartedly agree about the silliness that is Valentine’s Day; however, I must caution you before proceeding to turn up emptyhanded on the day.  It is vitally important that you have a frank and honest discussion with your significant other (SO) before venturing down the path of the anti-Valentine.

(I am approaching this from a male perspective and also because it reads easier.)

Here are the top 5 signs that you need to celebrate Valentine’s Day:

1. She posts on Facebook all the gifts that you get her so it makes her friends jealous.
2. She mentions to you things that her friends/co-workers received from their partners.
3. She has given you constant hints about the day.
4. She has an unnatural love for Rom-com movies or watches the Hallmark channel too much.
5. She has explicitly said, “you better get me a present”

All of these signs mean that, in order to preserve the natural order, you need to give a gift

Valentine’s the smart way

For those who must celebrate Valentine’s Day, there are ways to go about it to maximize sentimentality and minimize headaches.  The first place to start is in the home.  Look to your significant other for cues.  Has your significant other been bothering for a long amount of time to do something?  Well, here is the perfect chance to do it! Other good options include breakfast in bed, a nice home-cooked meal, or how about a day away without the kids?!

Another alternative is to celebrate Valentine’s Day but on a different day.  Eating out at a fancy restaurant on February 21 is just as special as eating out on February 14.

Showing someone that you love them does not equal buying them crap.

Additionally, Valentine’s Day may be more expensive for you this year depending on what you like to do, so it pays to do some research. Taking a look at the December 2018 Consumer Price Index, you can see that some of the things that you normally do on Valentine’s Day are more expensive than in years past.

Increase in Valentine's prices

candy	1.3%
wine away from home	2.6%
wine at home	1.1%
full-service meals	2.8%
admission to movies, theaters, concerts	1.1%
admission to sporting events	9.2%
food at home	0.6%
jewelry	-3.8%

Here is a list of the percentage increase in some goods that you normally spend money on for Valentine's Day. (from one year ago)

Interestingly, lettuce costs 15% more than this time last year as well. So if you do opt for a home cooked meal, don’t bother with a salad. (it pays to do some research!)

A final thought

While I suppose this is a bit tongue-in-cheek, it does represent a larger picture of how we choose to live our lives.

Far too many of us try to keep up with the Jones. Have the nice 2000 square foot house that is too big for us; a payment for a boat that we use twice a year; a new car every two years (along with a nice payment); new phone, tablet, game system; expensive vacation; eating out all the time; Starbucks every day. The list goes on.

There is nothing wrong with that, but these same people, often times, are the ones living paycheck to paycheck.  They are one emergency away from a crisis.  They also end up not being able to afford to retire.  They have a life of stress that needs not be that way.

Who’s with me?